I feel like crap all the time, and I’m running out of curt answers.
I don’t want to lie and say I’m good just because that’s what’s expected of me, but I don’t want to invite discussion into why I feel poorly.
My go-to response is “Living the dream,” because if this life is a dream I hope to wake up soon. Plus not only is it considered an acceptable answer, it can be played off as a joke.
If anyone needs extra context, being asked “how are you” is an extended part of the greeting here. The asker is really just saying hello still, and although some kind of answer is expected, they aren’t actually curious about your welfare. A genuine response throws people off balance, and is probably unwarranted. Think of coworkers, service workers, or even total strangers being asked this dozens of times a day.
“Good, you?”
“up and not crying”
…that is, if I’m not crying.
“Not too bad.”
“I am vertical.”
just say “Life, ya know” If they are only being polite they’ll answer “for sure” and thats it.
If they really care and want to know theyll ask more and then you can go into more detail.Brought to you by “protocols autistic people have to memorize” lol that being me
“Well enough” if you want to be genuine, but brief and convey that things are not aces.
But usually just mirroring “How are you!” in the same tone as the first part of the greeting establishes that it is a ritual, not a question.
I’m awake, but I’d rather not be.
Just yeah, not bad like the rest of us do.
“I’m here”
People don’t talk to me much.
Treat it non-literally. Say ‘How’s it going?’ which turns it into a greeting rather than a question.
“Still kicking but not screaming!”
My goto is “Every day is better than the next.”
Clever.
In German, we say “shitty would be bragging”.
my goto is “muss ja”
Beschissen wär geprahlt!
The one who can not cope with this answer should not ask!
oh, nice
“I’ve been worse”
The horrors persist, but so do i.
I’m a big fan of this one, I started using it as a mantra when I got sick of “this too shall pass”
Monty Python also has a good response:
