• excral@feddit.org
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    3 days ago

    ITT: people pretending others “cheese” some unfair advantages by having kids when having kids is almost always a net negative in terms of time, money, career opportunities and so much more.

    People who choose not to have kids do so for a reason, don’t pretend these factors don’t exist for parents. As a society we need a next generation, how would you ever retire otherwise? Because of this we should support parents, not envy them for whatever small benefits they get to slightly offset all the disadvantages and are often absolutely necessary to allow them to raise kids.

    • songwriterallnighter@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      Almost always a negative but people still do it though, that tells me whatever is the disadvantage, it’s still worth it in the end. So all in all advantages outweighs disadvantages. People have different capacities for suffering, just because they don’t have kids doesn’t mean they can’t benefit from some extra time off from work stress. Parents can give their non-parent coworkers some time off when they do come to work on time and don’t have to leave early as a thank you.

    • liuther9@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      The only thing my heart can count as net negative is sleep time. It is completely fuked. Btw do not expect colleagues to help you. Do not expect your parents to help you. Everyone has their own life

    • liuther9@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Net negative… You either don’t have a kid or had it unplanned. It is hard but no way it is net negative if you knew beforehand and made a responsible decision

      • Velma@lemmy.today
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        3 days ago

        If you’re a man.

        Having children is almost always a net negative for women. There’s even a term for it: “The Motherhood Penalty”

          • Velma@lemmy.today
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            3 days ago

            Of course it depends - I’m sure there are women out there with very supportive employers who didn’t see any decrease in their wages related to them being mothers.

            But the majority of women, even when a child is planned, experience a net negative on their total earnings and career advancements.

            Men simply don’t see that kind of treatment from becoming fathers.

            • liuther9@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Fine I will engage to this debate

              Post says about regular people complaining about getting less perks vs ppl with kids. Thats fair because you as a responsible adult made a decision to make a kid, spend less time with friends, doing hobbies, much less sleep and more expenses in household. But do not get spoiled and expect others to owe you, even your parents, they have their own life, they also get tired, and then people have the audacity to expect random colleagues to help.

              That is the main theme, then the comment is kid is net negative. Net is not defined and can include many things and people immidiately jump into assumption that it is mother related topic both comment and post. Devalue what father brings onto the plate. So overall, not defining what is net, bringing misandry into the theme.

              Then other comment brings motherhood penalty which is related strictly to career (are we seriously considering whole life which is Net only to be career?) and keep in mind that it is not global thing, maybe in your homeland but where I live mothers get support from gov which is ofcourse less than job paycheck but still not bad. They also can keep the job and being motivated climb the career ladder faster that is my observation.

              If you brought the topic of career stagnation of mothers then there is a term called fatherhood bonus which helps to negate the overall effect of motherhood penalty. And father brings money home, usually fathers pay their wifes so called wife salary leaving themselves with less disposable income.

              In conclusion, lets get back to main topic. People, not only mothers, can ask for paid dayoffs for example but that should be available for kidless people too, to not discriminate other employees. Some perks related to having newborn should be written in law, in that way workers wont feel unfairness. I hope that makes sense to you and other commenters

              • Velma@lemmy.today
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                2 days ago

                Acknowledging that women are penalized by society at large for having children in ways that fathers are not is not misandry.

                  • Velma@lemmy.today
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                    2 days ago

                    As if the length of a comment is directly related to its worth.

                    All I see is a bunch of hot air from a man who chooses to be willfully ignorant about the world because it serves him better to do so.