Say the line, MAGA!

But for a brief, beautiful moment, we created a lot of value for shareholders!

Well, he works for that guy, so…yeah.

While marketing for their new tell-all book, specifically…

In the land of morons, the dummy is genius.

I think we all know that even if he’d had accurate reports first, he would said the same bullshit. There’s only one way he stops lying, and we’re pretty much all eagerly awaiting it.

Step 1: Piss off the entire planet

Step 2: ?

Step 3: America is great again!

If they had long term memory they’d be very upset right now.

On your wedding day

But at least the emotional woman didn’t win, amirite?

Don’t forget the reporters behind the camera, who had the real numbers before even asking the question, quietly recording the denial of this reality without challenge.

No, bring it back and get the full refund, then walk into the store to buy the exact same thing (hopefully not one of the recalled) with the money you just got back.

It’s time for your nap, Mr President.

“We need a bailout or we’re going to have to lay off lots of people.”

“Alright, here’s a lot of taxpayer money.”

“Thanks for the cash. Oh, by the way, we’re laying off a lot of people.”

“Efficiency! It proves we were right to give you all that taxpayer money!”

“I don’t care about you, I just want your vote.” - one of the few times the Yam was honest.

Well, he got their vote. And he still doesn’t care about them.

“We’re only going to round up the criminals! And as it happens we’re the ones who decides who’s a criminal.”

The amount of indignant smoothbrains in news articles and FB posts who still haven’t figured that out is truly impressive.

I hope the cops are keeping an eye on him, because by the time he hits his college years he’s going to be trying to slip unidentified powders into women’s drinks at the bar.

He failed at failing, which is entirely on-brand…

“Trump promised” <— Found the problem

The best part of that incident was how so many people didn’t think it was an attack, just “Yeah, that seems like something a cybertruck would do.”