Nah, they are right. I’m probably solidly on the neurotypical scale by most counts, but the best I can do is accepting those thoughts or not allowing them to derail me–typical mindfulness stuff. But I’ve never heard of anyone being able to just turn off thinking on command (drugs don’t count).
The better analogy would be like being able to read the notification and put the phone back down.
Personally I deal with it by prioritizing the data.
I have about the same total size Unraid NAS as you, but the vast majority is downloaded or ripped media that would be annoying to replace, but not disastrous.
My personal photos, videos and other documents which are irreplaceable only make up a few TB, which is pretty managable to maintain true local and cloud backups of.
Not sure if that helps at all in your situation.