I feel honor-bound to point out every time somebody brings this up that Gaige Grosskreutz could’ve greased that guy, and it would’ve been legitimate self-defense, too. Wisconsin law be fucked.

I started the day with the news that Dick Cheney is dead. Now I’m ending it with news that Zohran Mamdani is mayor. It’s been the best day in a long, long time.

An attempted handjob by a woman from a country where circumcision is rare, so she went for the death grip.