Hey there youngster! I’m 42. So, make room in that casket. We’re gonna snuggle.

I keep telling you! It’s your diet! Stop eating bagels from the trash!

Just commenting so I can find this video when I get home from work.

Sounds interesting.

Ugh…I was going to make a joke about how respect and dignity didn’t sound right for this country.

Then the punchline was going to be an 1800s era version of ICE. But as I tried as I could, I just couldn’t make it funny. I just kept trying to rework the joke, but no matter how I tried it, I just got angrier and angrier, because it’s a real thing that actually is happening.

Fuck Earth.

I would love to print out a whole sheet of those stars as stickers.

Then just go in public like “You ever heard of Where’s Waldo? Well this is is Look At George! Ready to play? Ok, 3…2…1…flips paper around Now let me know when you see George…”

And then you put a star sticker on their shirt.

Dude! Cruella DeVille is going to steal your cat!

Then just press the button under the plate. It’ll turn towards you and start singing.

Uhhhhhhh…yeah. We know. There was an island, and a bunch of crimes against humanity. It was like this whole big thing.

…yeah. Neck. That’s the right word…

Or, maybe they’re trying to kill adblockers so hard that they killed the whole homepage.

“Well if we can’t block the adblockers, we’ll just block EVERYBODY! No more Mr Beast for anyone!”

steals all of itsathursday’s cookware

…buy it once, eh? Welp. Learn something new everyday!

Eh…Digg is like the little brother that wants to be cool, but just ends up burning down his own house.

Now, you may be thinking,

“But Lost_My_Mind! You burned down your own house when you were 5 years old! And you’re the little brother of the family!”

And that’s all true. But you see, the difference is…I was never trying to be cool.

I’m just making jokes. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve detatched from reality, and now I just sit by and make stupid jokes on the internet until things improve.

looks outside

Nope. Don’t wanna touch grass. Not in this timeline.

I don’t tow the israel line, and they don’t seem to be coming after me!

How often are they just bursting into flames for no reason?

Nah. Most of trumps stuff is just plated with immitation gold.

“Were” doing fine??? OP!!! WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOO???

I get the rest of them, but why is “gay republican” there? I’m not saying he isn’t, but why is being gay one of the insults?

Shoo! Shoo away from my garden, bird!!! SHOO!

I have a different conspiracy theory.

I think they’re planning on the reduced human population that’s already underway in America.

See, the boomer generation at it’s peak was bigger than Gen-X, the millenials, and Gen-Z combined. But, people die. And the youngest boomers are 70 years old.

The next 30 years will see a massive population collapse, and we’ve already entered the collapse of the work force of that generation.

Which means for the next 30 years, everybody else is paying for the boomers social security. But when it comes time for our time on retirement, we’re not going to have the same support they did. Boomers will be dead, Gen Z is statistically having less kids (and I get why, but it still means less social security income).

So their plan is to regulate all the work to AI, and take all the profits. The problem is, it’s a really stupid plan. It doesn’t matter how advanced AI is. It will never fully replace humans. Which means the concept of work will always need to exist. And the end result is, I think they’re preparing to figure out how to get AI to do enough of the jobs, and then enslave the people to do the rest.