I had an arterial stent placed via the femoral artery. Trust me, it’s pretty dang nice having a tiny scar so high on my inner thigh that my hanging balls hide it instead of a huge one on my chest!

Pshhhh, real ones know that blue is the superior eye color.

today is the first a day in inside of whole life where i have the confidence to walk 🥲

Ah. Thanks for clearing that up!

What?

[slow clap]

Well, for one you won’t have to constantly type in lemmy.world!

Wait a second, you browse Lemmy on your phone in a normal browser? Why not use one of the many many apps specific to the fediverse? Do you have masochistic tendencies?

Have you never heard of bookmarks? Or, you know, just leaving a tab with your choice of lemmy instances open in it at all times?

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

Every day, we drift further from Dog.

I ran into an elderly man at the grocery store this weekend, proudly wearing a crisp new “Trump 2028” baseball cap. Make his dumb ass a front-lines infantryman.

Well, that’s certainly better than either of my guesses!

I’d ask why, but that would be facetious of me - I damn well know I do the same thing from time to time.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

…are you taking credit for someone else’s helpful comment, or did you forget which sockpuppet you were driving today?

Not quite the surprise banger as the first movie, but still totally entertaining fun.

That a lot of words to say, “I misread the whole conversation and just hate opiates.” The downvotes are almost certainly coming from people who did realize marijuana was the topic.

That’s fucking rich! The douche who thinks public assault is A-okay can’t handle a little name-calling when it’s directed at him. Get bent you ginormous twat-waffle.

Same here. Sadly, both of my housemates are more like underscores.

props that he did something about it, but he should have at least tried to act like he was a badass

Wow, I didn’t realize the alpha-bros had found Lemmy!

The correct response to a comedian telling a joke at your partner’s expense is to smile awkwardly and do nothing in the moment. What Will did was so out of bounds it was sad and pathetic.

Not so uncomfortable that he turned down the invite to this farce, so fuck his feelings.